How can we govern our emotions and the natural instinctive state of our mind?
How do we pay heed to what truly matters..
Instinctively emotion is a state we all experience, share, and embody. It is something we get to experience silently and intimately. We experience emotions in solitude, yet it connects us collectively. It impresses on our heart, it shapes our awareness and connects us with higher consciousness.
When we think of the word "emotion", it may elicit a poignant thought – evoking a keen sense of sadness or perhaps even regret. Seldom positive connotation comes to mind initially, when speaking of emotions. When we describe someone as being emotional, it often has a sliver of stigma attached to it, as if they were deemed to be unstable.
Through generations we have collectively inherited simple definitions as given; without a single thought of the actual definition itself. If we look in the dictionary; the term emotion is as follows:
"A natural instinctive state of mind deriving from one's circumstances, mood, or relationships with others."
This sentiment, this feeling.. whether of intensity or the lack of it, has a boundless range of sensations and is something that is part of us at the deepest core. Emotions affect us and those around us immeasurably. They are considered, and often described as instinctive; yet, frowned upon. This is paradoxical because emotions are what allows us to observe the life that flows through us, what makes us feel alive, what drives us, what protects us, what connects us, and what makes us discern from any other living organism on this planet.
The emotional scale is so vast, yet mostly we all hear of frustration, anger, fear, or sadness. Calmness, peace, or joy seems as a foreign currency of some kind we must pay a high price for if we could so afford it. If we were deemed worthy.
Photo Credits: Lonely Man by Aldo Murillo
Whether a thought comes first, then emotion follows.. or emotion appears, and thoughts start to flood in - paying attention to what we think, how we feel, and what follows is the key answer to alleviating the pain from suffering.
Emotions can be ambivalant and transient. The word "Emotion" is essentially an energy in motion. Its momentum can propel us in different directions. As "The Law of Conservation" in Quantum Physics states - energy can be converted or transformed; however, not created nor destroyed. Similarly, with emotions, our pain can only mirror our perception; therefore, we can convert, transform, and change how we feel and directly affect the amount of pain we experience. So, we cannot destroy emotions, or create them out of nowhere. They are simply waves in fluctuation, and we must learn to ride them by maintaining balance. Hence; likewise, eliminating suffering would not be in congruence with such a law. It would be an impossible quest given suffering is essentially inevitable. In fact, it is the force of life. Without suffering none of the life on this planet would sustain. To eliminate suffering is to eliminate life itself. Nevertheless the pain we experience is optional. We have more power than we realize and that is the ability to adjust the volume of the mental torture we subject ourselves to.
We can embark upon learning how to regulate our emotions as opposed to avoiding, or eliminating them. Attempting to eliminate anything only lays the foundation for more of such. To eliminate a problem is merely the beginning of another.
We may hide from the rain with our umbrellas but how we feel underneath; whether it rains or shines is what will color our sky, shape our experience, and therefore the reality that we create.
If I could look back at where I was to pivot for the first time and make a slight difference in my life, it did not start with some grand of choice or action. Choice (and certainly aligned action) is an important and formative component of our self-development, habits, beliefs, and growth; yes. But before making choices followed by actions, we must become reflective and pay attention so we can gain self-awareness. When we start to pay great attention to our inner dialogue; it is almost as if we start to get to know ourselves for the very first time. By paying heed, being present, curious, and observant we become our own best friend. We become a friend who cares for our well-being. We begin to care for our emotions.
Photo Credits: Emotions by Choness
We all assume we know ourselves better than anyone else in this world. After all, this would make sense since we are the ones who spend 100% of the time with ourselves. However; I can attest to this by studying myself for the past seven years with keen attention. The little do we realize about ourselves without zooming into the focus of our thoughts deliberately. It is important to learn to let go of resistance and allow naturally things to fall into place so we can illuminate the path ahead of us with clarity.
It is very surreal to witness the nuances, behaviors, patterns, triggers, reactions; and results for that matter, when we start to consciously pay attention to our thoughts and emotions – ongoingly, with consistency and through the lenses of focus. Cultivating self-awareness is the fundamental objective here. This truly takes practice but as anything, it starts with realization, focus, application, and mostly an observation. When we observe ourselves carefully in any given scenario; at rudiment the merit we will gain here is information. We don't necessarily need to know what to do with this information per se. Not at the beginning anyway.
This may be our first time paying attention to each thought or a segment of thoughts purposefully so. This can certainly feel scary if we are experiencing anxiety, stress, or worry. We tend to push negative thoughts away, distract, and soothe ourselves into not paying attention to them on the contrary. But examining thoughts as they take place within our mind, is the only way to arrive at the opportunity for healing what is beneath the thought patterns at their core. So for now, without the pressure of accomplishing anything else other than to take notice of what floats within our mind – let it be and simply just observe.
This allows us to become more grounded within our everyday and begin to understand how a slight shift in focus leads us to gainful knowledge. We may tend to reject, manipulate, control, or pivot these thoughts at the beginning. Nevertheless, part of this practice is to consciously be awake and pay attention to what may arrive, while we are doing so. However, the pivotal importance here is to let our thoughts just simply be and to only observe them. This is similar to meditation but we can practice with an intention as we go about our day. This gives us not only the opportunity to learn about our mind and ultimately ourselves in more depth, but also to learn to self-regulate as our mind aimlessly wanders. From the point of an observer, we can suspend judgment, attachment, and tension that would otherwise arise if we attach ourselves to the actual meaning of our thoughts.
As we practice more, we will begin to connect the dots by picking up on nuances that will show themselves as repetitive. Soon, we will notice patterns. It may even start as a wonder to behold and utter surprise, as we discover what kind of thoughts we have been entertaining on default all along. We will begin to recognize quickly which thoughts affect our mood as we concede our tendency to ruminate on them. The quicker we acknowledge this fear-based pattern, the quicker we can pivot and recover. We can likewise re-program our brain to form different neuro-connections and form new patterns. The harvest may appear far away at the beginning but there will certainly be a promise of fruit, as our consciousness fills with grace that of intent and presence. Catching these nuances early is what will naturally start to happen, and that is when we will be able to zoom into our behavior and detect these unwanted patterns as we continue to study ourselves.
It will soon be evident where we have placed our focus at a given time, and how we arrived at a particular emotion. We may not need to overwhelm ourselves with the disection of everything out there that enters our mind. Perhaps choose an event, a moment of anxiety, or a trigger - something that noticeably simply does not feel good. Start there. Next time there is a similar occurrence, compare your perception, thoughts, and reaction about it. Make notes if this is helpful to you. You can also just observe your inner language surrounding a particular topic that may ruminate on your mind; such as a relationship, money, or a career. Notice the way you are talking to yourself. Notice the direction of your focus. Does your mind automatically reach for the worst-case scenario? If a friend, or coworker was speaking about this loudly would you find them to be dramatic? Do you feel sadness, or hurt, or are you angry or resentful? Are you placing blame onto another, or do you blame yourself? Do you feel guilty there after? Do you feel you may be in denial? Do you go around and repeat this story to anyone who will listen? Do you validate yourself as a victim in the scenario? There is an endless amount of questions that can be posed to analyze where you have started and where did you end up based on the thoughts you cultivated around the given circumstance. This will then circulate all sorts of emotions to perpetuate the so-called suffering and ultimately shape the experience that will soon be stored as a memory in your subconscious. The more you practice these patterns, the more automatic they will become to the point of you not even noticing this being a habit. The point of this exercise is to dissect and analyze our behavior to cultivate an understanding of our own unique and intimate mental process so we can gain the knowledge and awareness to pivot, change, and therefore grow. Our desire, mission and goal is to ultimately transcend the state of our inner world for it can reflect health, love, and abundance within our world on the outside. The gold on the inside has no chance but to shine on the outside kind of principle.
Photo Credits: Emotion by Devonyu
Courage..
A friend once told me he admires Artists, because they have courage. Because it takes courage to be yourself. I guess I could never quite relate because I always felt I was being myself and possibly so to my own detriment; whether highly expressive, sensitive, uninhibited - and often unapologetically so.
That is the way I have always seen myself, and the way others described me.. It was not however until a deep reflection followed by self-awarness I was noticeably forced to recognize.. I, like everyone else have had secrets, hidden truths, and much to feel embarrased for. So.. really I also could not quite be myself. I lived in a denial, I hid, I ommited. I lied to myself.
It does not take courage to be yourself. It takes a courage to reflect deeply, to confront, to admit to ourselves what is it within us that causes us pain, and then face this pain. How do we look fear into its eyes, and make different decisions? How can we explore the depth of our mind, reach new heights, face contrast, expand, and grow? When we are able ponder here and implement changes, that is where courage begins.
Being an artist myself, I realize the contrast between paintings and writing. While they are both that of an expression; words carry power beyond colors. Colors can express emotions but can also very well hide them. Words however can't be covered with a brush stroke once they are spoken. I can't just select a color theme and therefore the mood changes. I have to bare myself through the words of authenticity and vulnerability. In order to truly maximize the rawness of potential and create an impact we must reveal the unpleasant, expose the ugly, and live to write about it. For the majority of own my life I have fought the unpleasant, pushed, cried trough, resisted, and tried to control my outer circumstances. As I became more present and capable of deep reflection through studying my inner language and thoughts related, I have discovered the motive behind my behavior. It was a thought process driven by fear; which then turned into a pattern of building a barricade for myself in the illusion of safety. This slowly grew into an avalange of pressure to keep up with, often errupting in stress I was unequipped to ultimately handle. Unfortunately, often it is not till we fall on our face that we awake.
A constant that is there present no matter the cicumstances is our inner voice. We must learn to have faith in the silent words of this inner voice. That voice guides us to shape our own; which then transcends our perception into our experience.
Photo Credits: Fragmanted Thoughts by Agsandrew
Inner Language..
The way we talk to ourselves is by far the most fundamental component in forming not only our thoughts but our perception; and therefore shaping our experiences. Understandably so, this is very formative to our habits, and ultimately our belief. While the world without is governed by our mind, our future and the foundation of our health greatly depends on our mental state. What we sense and perceive is strongly connected to the mindset we choose to cultivate. Our emotions often govern our actions; hence we must harness the autonomy to gain agency over how we feel.
Thoughts & Emotions are closely interlaced. As thoughts command how we feel, learning to read our emotions is a pivotal part of the ability to adjust our way of thinking.
When we deliberately guide our thoughts in the direction of positive energy we can govern our emotions and allow space for the energy of ease,
and therefore our experience to be filled with joy.
~Vendula Kalinova
Thanks for reading 🙏
If you'd like to see or support some of my Art & other creations - feel free to visit: www.kalinovadesign.com
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